Articles
The Back-to-School Balancing Act for Parents
Jason Sackett, LCSW
For parents who either attend college, or whose workloads spike when classes are in session (e.g. faculty and select staff), back-to-school can be an exciting time. Perhaps utter chaos and stress
describes it better. These parents know that balance of key areas—work, academics, children’s academics and activities, quality time with family and partners, and personal time—is not an
outcome or end. Like “perfection,” life balance cannot be precisely defined nor achieved, only pursued. Therefore, balancing work, family, academics (for self or children), and personal needs is a
never-ending quest to keep all of those key areas healthy. Following three basic steps, parents can improve chances for success on this quest:
- Focus on health and productivity, not perfection
- Figure out what you can afford to not do
- Don’t let any key area suffer
Some parents acknowledge the formidable challenge of keeping all the key areas healthy. Others who are hard-wired for success may believe they can be the best at everything—parent, student, husband/wife,
and professional—and expect nothing less. Aspiring to be great in one key area is admirable, but no one has the time and energy to be tops in all categories at the same time. However, if a person is productive
in the classroom, meets or exceeds expectations at work, promotes his/ her child’s academic progress, and still manages to spend quality time with family (including time devoted solely to a spouse or
partner)—now that’s an achievement. Carving out additional time for personal needs or R & R (separate from spouses, partners, and kids) is even more remarkable.
Given the time and energy demands to maintain these key areas, parents must be realistic about what tasks they pursue. Since the 24-hour daily pie can only be divided so many ways, parents will benefit from every
task they can remove from their to-do list. Asking for help and delegating is one way to accomplish this. Differentiating the essential tasks (e.g. homework, eating, sleeping) from the optional ones (reading the
newspaper, volunteering to coach a pee-wee soccer team)—and unloading the optional ones—can also free up time, when necessary to maintain the health of a key area. Finally, although student/ working
parents will always have a heavy workload, cutting down the number of different tasks can help conserve mental energy and enhance organization.
Finally, the pursuit of balance implies that people do not allow any key area to suffer or fall apart. For instance, studying 20 hours a day may lead a student to be tops in her class, but if her marriage disintegrates
or her children start acting out or failing classes because she’s never around, then is being the best student really worth the costs? To ensure all key areas are healthy, parents must pay attention to all of
them, all the time. Occasionally, they may have to focus more time and energy on one particular area, such as studying more before mid-terms, delaying projects to meet with a child’s teacher, or getting
a sitter to spend much-needed time with a spouse or partner. The key is to shift emphasis, within reason, to areas that need attention, without neglecting the other areas or somehow putting them at risk.
For more information on this topic, read “How to balance school with kids.”
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