Articles

Taking Advantage of Ridiculous Teen Comments Part I, School Issues

By Jason Sackett, LCSW

Teenagers don’t just say ridiculous things, but think some ridiculous—and unrealistic—thoughts, like the illusion that they’re going to get away with everything. After years of counseling teens, I have been privileged to hear some of their most outrageous remarks and ideas . Instead of shaking my head in bewilderment, I have decided to use these comments to arm parents in two ways. First, each silly statement carries a corrective response, so parents can easily set their teenager straight if they utter similar words. In addition, parents can review these examples with their child at the early stages of faulty thinking, before bad attitudes develop, and send them the not-so-ridiculous message, “I’m on to you, so don’t even bother trying to test me with any of this nonsense.” Brace yourself for some breaks from reality concerning school.

• "I never get any homework."

  Every student in school gets homework everyday, starting in kindergarten, except during periods of standardized testing.

• "I finished my homework at school."

  Unless your child participates in an after-school program, this should not be happening. Let me see that homework. I’m going to talk to talk to the teacher to find out how homework is being completed in class.

• “My teacher loses my homework everyday.”

  Does she lose every student’s homework, or just yours? After she lost it the first time, what did you do to make sure she collected it properly? If the teacher is losing your homework, ask for a receipt each time you submit it. Or, make copies of your completed homework, and if she loses the originals, I’ll take the copies to her myself.

• “My teacher won’t tell me why I’m failing.”

  Although teachers should give feedback, it is still your responsibility to know what is required to pass a class. If you’re failing, then you’re not doing one or more of the following: attending class, participating in class, completing/ turning in class work, completing/ turning in homework, completing/ turning in special projects (e.g. science experiments, book reports), and passing quizzes and tests. Note to child: passing quizzes and tests involves attending class, paying attention, completing assignments, and studying.

• "I can ditch class and the teacher doesn’t even notice.”

  This might be true in the case of a large class or a teacher that doesn’t care (in high school or middle school), but teachers still take attendance, and guess who notices? School Counselors can easily look at a computer screen and see patterns of truancy, and if ambitious, can ambush students with citations (school police issues a $250 fine). Even if School Counselors don’t pursue this, ditching class still qualifies as an absence, which directly impacts grades. So even if your teacher doesn’t notice when you ditch, you still lose.

• “I don’t need to go to college to get a good job. I’ll go to work testing video games for $20 an hour.”

  Just review job listings and point out the salary ranges for positions not requiring a college degree. You can also send them to this link, http://www.econ.iastate.edu/outreach/agriculture/reports/NationalEmpSurvey/03Salaries.indd.pdf, which is a study showing that college graduates made 34.4% higher salaries than high school graduates in 2005, or this one, http://www.census.gov/prod/2002pubs/p23-210.pdf, which shows similar findings. As far as testing video games for pay, wish them good luck. Then, ask them how many high-school-dropout-video-game-junkies do they think are lined up for that job?

  And the most ridiculous teen comment related to school:

• I don’t have to do well in school, get a job, or do anything. I can live with my parents as long as I want."

  I'll let you create your own response to this one. If no words come to mind, bursting with laughter is appropriate.

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