USC Health Now

From picking perfect presents and preparing the perfect feast, to spending time with far-from-perfect family members, the “season to be jolly” can easily morph into the “season to be stressed.” Here, two USC experts point the way to a happier holiday season.

by Carrie St. Michel

While daily life is sprinkled with tension, the holidays can bring a heaping helping that can not only sour what should be a joyous season, but also can negatively impact your mental and physical health.

“When we’re overly stressed, our physical health can suffer. Blood pressure can increase, and immune function can be compromised, which makes us more vulnerable to a host of illnesses,” says Bruce Spring, M.D., assistant professor of clinical psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the Keck School of Medicine of USC. “Stress also can leave us feeling anxious, impact our ability to sleep or concentrate and even lead to clinical depression.”

The first step toward avoiding holiday stress and its negative effects is to identify the “grinches”—those aspects of the season that are most likely to trigger a stress response—and then arm yourself with preemptive strategies. According to a recent Mental Health America survey, the most common holiday stressors are:

• Financial pressures
• Too many activities
• Family issues
• Overindulgence

From mailboxes chock-full of Christmas catalogs to midnight madness holiday sales, the slogan of the season seems to be: spend, spend, spend.

Finance

“The key to avoiding overspending is to set a budget and stick to it,” explains Andrea Bardack, L.C.S.W., an employee assistance professional at USC’s Center for Work and Family Life.

Bardack also recommends taking a hard look at your gift list and distinguishing between “people you want to buy presents versus people you feel obligated to buy presents.” Those who fall in the obligated category can likely be eliminated from your list without the world coming to an end. At minimum, she says, their presents can be less extravagant.

In addition to overspending, another pitfall of the season is overextending ourselves. As Bardack points out, although we may wish otherwise, the number of hours in a day doesn’t change come December. Consequently, she says, “You need to set realistic limits regarding how much shopping, cooking and attending parties that you actually can do.”

Spring suggests a similar strategy: “Cut yourself some slack and realize that it’s OK to not do everything; it’s OK to sometimes send regrets.” By not setting realistic limits, Spring cautions that we run the risk of becoming “a human doing rather than a human being; meaning, we can get so caught up in sheer busyness that the joy of the season is lost in the shuffle.”

Family

For many, the joy of the season stems from spending time with family. For others, however, spending time with family can be stressful.

“Family members,” notes Bardack, “tend to push each other’s buttons—often unconsciously.”

We can’t control other people’s behavior, but Bardack says we can control our reactions. “While it takes practice, thought, and a sincere desire to change, you can consciously choose to break ingrained interaction patterns. You have to repeatedly tell yourself,” she adds, “that you’re not going to let this person get to you.”

When it comes to family, Spring emphasizes the importance of expectations. “Just because it’s the holidays, you can’t expect that members of your family are going to be changed people. If someone was difficult prior to the holidays,” he explains, “chances are they are going to be equally difficult during the holidays. You can’t expect a dog to suddenly behave like a cat.”

For the sake of keeping your own stress level in check, Spring says it’s best to simply accept these people for who they are. “Forgiving others,” he adds, “is another good way to reduce our own stress.”

Food

Forgiveness can similarly be an effective strategy if you overspend your welcome at the holiday buffet table. “If you overeat a little, don’t punish yourself,” says Spring.

Bardack agrees, “Indulging on one day certainly isn’t a disaster.” She cautions, however, that the entire month can’t be used as an excuse to throw portion control and calories to the wind. “If you’re going to several parties, you can’t overindulge at every single one. You can treat yourself a little,” she notes, “but it’s important to be very conscious about the food choices you make.”

Bardack additionally notes that the stress of the season also can lead to emotional eating. “Don’t use food as a way to cope with stress,” she says. “Ask yourself why you’re eating, and if the answer isn’t, ‘because I’m hungry,’ stop.”

Most importantly, emphasizes Spring, don’t strive for perfection. “The goal isn’t to have the perfect holiday season,” he says, “but simply to enjoy the season. This is a time of year when we should focus on being loving toward others and loving toward ourselves.”