SRA MEMBER RECEIVES IMPORTANT AWARD

Sally Emerson is the recipient this year of the USC Staff Club Staff Member of the Year Award.  This is a greatly deserved honor for her.  Besides a beautiful plaque, she also received a cash prize of $800.  Sally is the first retiree ever to be given this award.  All past recipients of the award were active staff members.  Here is the citation that accompanied the award:

"Even though Sally Emerson retired in 1992, her involvement with USC has remained constant.  Prior to her retirement as an Administrative Assistant at the Norris Medical Library, she spent many years serving on both the Staff Assembly and Staff Club Board of Directors.  Between 1993 and 1997 she has served as President of the USC Staff Retirement Association and in 2001 was re-elected once again as president of that association.  As a member of the Staff Club, she volunteered for numerous years at the Staff Recognition Luncheon.

"Sally's devotion to USC and her interest in the betterment of the staff have been endless.  As Chair of the Ways and Means Committee of the Staff Club, she was instrumental in organizing the Notre Dame-USC Game Weekend Package opportunity drawings.  As President of the Staff Retirement Association, she helped negotiate and ensure the continuing funding of the Stipend Award for eligible retirees.  Keeping retirees closely connected to the university has been one of her finest achievements."


SOME URLS TO CLICK ON

How long can that bottle of ketchup stay in your fridge before it goes bad?  This site, <www.stilltasty.com>, lists all kinds of foods and how to keep them fresh longer as well as when to get rid of them.  You can enter items in the search box.  Also, if you click on a particular picture, a list of "Search Results" appears.  Then click on the item in the list to reveal the information.  (Thanks to Nancy Darnall and Carole Gustin for this item.)

Halloween fun: <www.allcrafts.net/halloween>. Instructions for making costumes, decorations, edible treats, carved pumpkins, and more.

If you are running out of gift ideas, you might find something at <www.zazzle.com>.  Choose among thousands of designs and items.

Find software alternatives for both Mac and Windows: <alternativeto.net>. If you are dissatisfied with Microsoft Word or don't want to buy Adobe Photoshop, this is the site to explore.  Alternatives are listed by popularity and with a link to the download site.

For a safer home: <hpd.nlm.nih.gov>.  Look up safety and proper use of potentially toxic air fresheners, computer cleaners, paint primers, stain removers, and other household products.  This household products database comes from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.


"Shawl," by Albert Goldbarth
(Originally aired August 17, 2009, on the NewsHour with Jim Lehrer)

Eight hours by bus, and night
was on them.  He could see himself now
in the window, see his head there with the country
running through it like a long thought made of steel and wheat.
Darkness outside; darkness in the bus—as if the sea
were dark and the belly of the whale were dark to match it.
He was twenty: of course his eyes returned, repeatedly,
to the knee of the woman two rows up: positioned so
occasional headlights struck it into life.
But more reliable was the book; he was discovering himself
to be among the tribe that reads.  Now his, the only
overhead turned on.  Now nothing else existed:
only him, and the book, and the light thrown over his shoulders
as luxuriously as a cashmere shawl.


THINGS WE WOULDN'T KNOW IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE MOVIES AND TELEVISION:

During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade—at any time of the year.

All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

It's easy for anyone to land a plane, provided that there is someone in the control tower to talk them down.

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off—even while scuba diving.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place.  No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war UNLESS you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill; just grab one at random and hand it over.  It will always be the exact fare.

Kitchens don't have light switches.  When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective—or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of the Coliseum.

Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

You can always find a chain saw when you need one.

Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.


C L A S S I F I E D  A D S  (Listed in order of receipt)

FOR SALE.  Get some inflation protection for the next generation—2.15 acres of vacant land in the 29 Palms area, NE corner Encanto at Calexico, only $8,495.  Zero down; terms OK.  Call Mike, private party, 818-240-7391 or write <MNosanov@aol.com>

FREE SMALL TREE.  A five-foot tall Ficus Benjamina in a five-gallon container.  Len Wines, 323-939-5527, or <len@winesland.net>.  We're in the Miracle Mile area of Los Angeles (not far from the La Brea Tar Pits).

[To have your free ad appear (for things to give away, to sell, to buy, etc.) in the next issue, please send to <len@winesland.net> before the first of the month.]


_______________________________________

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*The content of this E-mail Newsletter is for the information of the members of the USC SRA.  It is not a University of Southern California official publication.  There is no intent to promote any particular product or point of view.  Personal decisions regarding health, finance, exercise, or other matters should be made after consulting with the reader’s own professional advisors.