 |
Articles
Damaging Email
How to avoid communications that can cost professional relationships and careers
By Jason Sackett, LCSW
Email has one grand purpose: efficient communication, with a traceable written record as a bonus. That's it. You write a message and send it.
You can address one person or millions. You can attach documents, files, pictures, and web links. The process is totally efficient, and best of all, free—well,
not always free. If used incorrectly, email can incur heavy costs in hurt feelings, damaged relationships, failed goals, and lost jobs.
Some people think of email as personal, informal communication. On the contrary, messages sent electronically usually come across as formal and official,
much like memos written on paper. First, email is always one-way communication. Although recipients can respond to senders, no true dialogue occurs during exchanges. Furthermore, messages lack eye contact, posture, tone of voice, personality, and many other human qualities that add meaning to conversation. Thus, email often does not convey the true sentiments of the sender, and frequently misrepresents a sender’s feelings, tone, and intentions. This can lead to people being perceived in a way that does not accurately represent them. Below is an example from Harry, an executive planning an awards banquet. He has already asked his managers to send him their list of award winners, as well as statements to be engraved on their plaques. Some have not responded, so he sends a follow-up email:
To All Managers,
I am trying to finalize our order for the award plaques. Some of you still have
not sent me your list of awardees or the words of honor to go on their plaques.
You know who you are. I need all lists no later than this Friday. IF I DO NOT RECEIVE
THESE BY FRIDAY, YOUR WORKERS WON'T GET A PLAQUE. Also, I shouldn't have to tell you how annoying it is for people to have their names spelled wrong when
receiving an award. Let's get this done already. These are our best people, and I
shouldn't have to bug you about this.
Harry
Harry feels stressed when writing this email. He has a deadline to collect information, so his best workers will get quality awards and feel valued. Most managers
responded to the first request, but a few are delaying the order and frustrating him.
Although his frustration may be justified, the tone of Harry's message makes him sound harsh. You would never guess that Harry is respectful and charming—in person. Unfortunately, his email technique not only makes him seem abrasive, but may also undermine his goal of getting people to act. His managers may feel so annoyed at his tone that they further delay responding. Certainly, they are not inspired to cooperate.
What techniques might Harry have used to accomplish better outcomes? Following two email “golden” rules, he can achieve his goals and
avoid alienating people:
Email Golden Rule #1: Write a short, clear, polite message without emotion. People get tons of email, along with other messages
and documents to review, so short messages are always more effective, and usually more clear. Sometimes we forget that email is for information only,
short and sweet, FYI. It is not a forum for venting frustrations, confrontations, story-telling, performance feedback, or in-depth training.
Humor often gets lost in email, too. Harry’s comment, “You know who you are,” was likely an attempt at humor that came
across as judgmental. He makes other comments, like “I shouldn’t have to bug you about this,” that seem rude. In person, he can
get away with such remarks—his social skills reassure people that he means no disrespect—but it doesn’t work in email. All-capital words
(LIKE THIS) can also alienate readers, who may feel the sender is yelling or using a harsh tone.
Email Golden Rule #2: When emotions run high, avoid email. Instead of sending his flame mail to all managers, Harry can call those
who have not yet sent their lists. If phone calls are not practical (i.e. if most managers did not respond), then his best course is to vent his frustrations before composing,
write an emotionally neutral message, strive to be polite, and have someone edit it for angry tone before sending. A more effective message might read:
Dear Managers,
If you have not yet sent me your list of awardees with words of honor to be engraved on their plaques (checked for accurate spelling of names), please do so by this
Thursday. I must have all lists before placing the order. I appreciate your cooperation to help our best employees feel valued.
Regards,
Harry
This message clearly explains what the unresponsive managers need to do and why, and inspires cooperation in a strong but polite manner. It also spares the
managers who responded on time from any concern or burden. In addition, Harry moves up the deadline, in case any more fail to send their lists. If one or two miss the
deadline, he can call and confront them.
To further enhance the effectiveness of your email communication and avoid costly mistakes, consider the following tips:
1. Take great care to avoid emailing the wrong person. This can wreak havoc in so many ways. For instance, what would happen if:
a) sensitive business data was inadvertently sent to a competitor? b) co-workers exchanged critical emails about their boss, and one of them hit “reply all,” and their boss (and everyone else in their office) saw the message? or c) a manager planned to email Human Resources about a problem employee, but sent it to the employee by mistake? To minimize this risk, avoid “reply all” responses. If possible, remove the “reply all” option from your browser. You can also avoid forwarding messages. It’s safer to copy a message, start a new one, and paste. Finally, double-check the To: ___ field to ensure you are sending the message to the intended recipient(s).
2. Proofread, proofread, proofread. Before sending emails, proofread the text carefully, and check for any attachments or links you
have promised. When reading over your message, pay special attention to your tone, and consider if any words or phrases could possibly be interpreted as harsh,
critical, judgmental, sarcastic, hostile, patronizing, etc. If so, change them so they are as emotionally neutral as possible. In addition, try to avoid tone that is too familiar
or “chummy,” especially with supervisors or people in high positions. Finally, check carefully for tone that is potentially flirtatious, or that could be
perceived as sexually inappropriate, and edit out anything questionable.
3. Respect privacy. First, take care not to share others’ email addresses without permission. If you send or forward a
mass email, with others’ addresses in the To: ___ or Cc: ___ fields, you are compromising their privacy, and possibly alienating them. If you have the
slightest doubt about exposing addresses, put them in the blind carbon copy, or Bcc: ___ field. Another breach of email etiquette is emailing people you don't know,
unless you can honestly say that someone they know referred you (and be sure to name that person).
4. Avoid sensitive information via email. It is imperative to work with the mindset that email is not a secure form of communication.
Messages can be hacked in cyberspace (or with a stolen password), peeked at over a shoulder, subpoenaed, intentionally leaked, or inadvertently sent, forwarded,
or printed. Mark Foley, the U.S. Congressman who resigned amid a sex scandal with congressional pages, demonstrated that email is not secure and can ruin careers.
His emails left a clear trail of his misconduct, leaving many baffled at his ignorance. Speaking of security, if you send to a group of addresses
(e.g. the people in your office), make sure to remove the names and addresses of anyone who is no longer employed, so they do not continue to receive emails with
information about your organization. To avoid leaking sensitive information, assume anything you write in email could appear on the front page of the L.A. Times, and
you should be safe.
5. More talk, less email. Try not to communicate exclusively by email. Mix in phone conversations and face-to-face meetings,
so people remember your true personality. Also, try to avoid discussions via email. After two responses from each side, switch to a conversation in person.
Some companies mandate this rule.
6. Protect yourself. If someone you can’t ignore (co-worker, business associate, boss, ex-spouse) consistently sends
you emotionally volatile emails, ask a trusted, neutral person to screen their messages and summarize the main points. This allows you to receive and respond to
essential information, without exposing yourself to negativity.
6. Always be nice. Sometimes peers or colleagues joke about or criticize others via email. Even if people take supreme care to
send such messages to the proper address, can they guarantee that recipients will not accidentally forward the message to the wrong person, that wandering eyes
will not peek at a screen, or that a computer wiz won’t hack into the message? Heavy sarcasm, roasting, and gossip are precarious habits that eventually
lead to hurt feelings and damaged relationships. These practices are even more dangerous in a work setting. They can be fatal (to job status) in email.
There are safer, more effective options for expressing feelings. However, if you feel compelled to vent or talk trash, then for your own self-preservation,
don’t do it via email.
________________________________________
Jason Sackett is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Employee Assistance Professional with the USC Center for Work and Family Life.
For questions or comments, contact the Center at (213) 821-0800, or visit www.usc.edu/dept/socialwork/cwfl/.
back to top
•
•
|
|
