Articles
When Consistent Rewarding Fails, Try Random
By Jason Sackett, LCSW
Last week, I met with Teri and her very unmotivated, 14-year-old son, Cecil. He resisted anything requiring effort: homework, chores, you name it. I spoke with
Teri privately about this, and she blamed herself, saying that she had always devised great plans for promoting desirable behaviors, but never consistently followed through
with them. For instance, she would start a reward program for Cecil completing homework, and give him some form of reward—praise, prizes, free time, phone time,
or money—the first few times he finished homework on his own. Then, either she would stop giving the rewards, or he would slack off but continue to schmooze goods
and privileges from her.
Not only did this kill his incentive to complete homework, but it also made Cecil hopeless that his mother would ever follow through on a promise or reward plan.
Teri also doubted she would ever practice consistent rewarding. Most likely, it was this type of well-intentioned but inconsistent parenting that fueled books like
Punished By Rewards, which argues (incorrectly) that any type of praise or reinforcement of children is counterproductive and makes
kids dependent on rewards.
So, are we stuck here? Not at all. Rewarding practices don’t always have to be consistent.
Teri can still use random rewarding, also known as intermittent reinforcement, or as I prefer to call it, the slot machine technique. Do you ever wonder why people play slot machines? They must know that for the casino to make a profit, it has to take in more money than it pays out, so over time the players always lose money. So why do they still play? Simple: Occasionally, they hear some bells and whistles from a machine that just paid someone, and they never know if they might be the next winner.
I’ve learned a lot about rewarding from slot machines. Once, I played twenty bucks on a Vegas slot, one quarter at a time, losing every turn until all $20 was gone. Think I went to the ATM to get more money? Uh, no. Effort + No Reward = No More Effort. Another time, I had five bucks, and after about 7-8 turns, I won a jackpot of $160. Think I used any of that money to keep playing? Never! Nothing de-motivates behavior better than a big payoff (except in the case of a gambling addiction, but that’s for another article). If you don’t believe me, keep track of your child’s compliance rates before and after the winter holidays. I’ll bet you $160 his or her compliance is lower (and attitude much less pleasant) shortly after getting holiday loot. Anyway, back to slots…
Recently, I played a slot machine in Reno that frequently—but randomly—paid out small sums of 5-10 quarters, and then larger sums of $5-10 every
fifteen minutes or so. I played that machine for hours, and in the end, it sucked about $50 away from me. Whoever programmed that machine was a genius (or at least
smarter than me)! They knew that it’s the occasional, random reinforcement that keeps players in their seat, wondering, waiting, hoping, but never knowing when
the next payout will come.
Since Teri inconsistently rewarded her son for years, random rewarding is her best bet. She doesn’t have to promise Cecil anything. She simply surprises
him with a treat whenever she catches him making an effort. For example, she might see him writing in a workbook or reading a text, approach him, and say, “
You know, I couldn’t help but notice how hard you’re working right now, and it makes me feel good. Here’s three bucks for you to spend at
Starbucks tomorrow after school.” Then, she walks away with no explanation. If he asks for more money, she ignores him. He might even expect a follow-up
reward the next time he hits the books. Yeah, right. She’d go broke! Instead, she simply waits until his sense of expectation has faded and his guard has
dropped, and then she hits him with another one. After that, as long as she doesn’t make any promises or act too predictably, Cecil will be as hooked on
homework as a compulsive gambler is to a slot machine.
Teri can use verbal praise the same way. Even if he hasn’t done anything special, she can praise the absence of conflict: “I know we’ve
been at each other’s throats lately, and I just wanted to comment how nicely you’ve been acting around the house today.” This praise is
random and unexpected, and as long as it is meaningful to Cecil, it has a good chance of reinforcing those behaviors Teri wants to see.
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Jason Sackett is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Employee Assistance Professional with the
USC Center for Work and Family Life.
For more information, contact the Center at (213) 821-0800, or visit www.usc.edu/dept/socialwork/cwfl/.
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