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How to Help a Friend

Sexual Assault Resource Center

Sexual assault is unwanted contact of a sexual nature. Rape is forced vaginal or anal intercourse. Both are violent crimes. They are motivated by anger and aggression, not by sexual desire or uncontrolled passion. Sometimes they're used to humiliate the victim. If someone you know has been assaulted, you can help them in the following ways.

 

IF THE ASSAULT JUST OCCURRED

  • Make sure she is safe.
  • Help her get medical attention.
  • Offer to call the Center for Women and Men, the Rape Treatment Center or another advocacy service where professionals can assist in dealing with the trauma.
  • Offer to stay with her or call someone else she wants to stay with her.
  • Offer to call the police is she want to report the rape. Reporting the assault does not mean you must prosecute, but it will ensure the availability of that option in the future, should the survivor so decide. However, do not force her to report.

AT ANY TIME: IMMEDIATELY AFTER OR MUCH LATER
  • Listen to what the survivor tells you. Sometimes assault victims need to talk about the attack. Don't interrogate her or him.
  • Don't blame your friend for her or his decisions.
  • Allow the survivor the freedom to choose when, where and how to talk about the trauma.
  • Believe the survivor. People rarely make up stories about being sexual assault survivors.
  • Be sensitive. Let the person know that you do not subscribe to any of the common myths about sexual assault. Understand that the person has suffered extreme humiliation.
  • Respect your friend's confidentiality.
  • Be patient. Recovery from rape trauma is slow. Your friend sets the pace.
  • Realize that you have strong feelings about the trauma. If needed, seek counseling for yourself. The Center for Women and Men offers a discussion group for friends.
  • Remember that whatever the rape victim did to survive the attack was exactly what he or she needed to do. The victim did not cause the attack and is not at fault.
Adapted from suggestions written by Judith Sonnenberg, Psy.D.


Helpful Numbers:
  • USC Center for Women and Men
    213-740-4900
  • USC Department of Public Safety
    Emergency 213-740-4321
    Business 213-740-6000
  • USC Student Counseling Services
    213-740-7711
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