Random Tangents

Stealing isn't bad when its justified by ranch dressing

have a confession to make. I'm a thief.
I'm not a klepto; I don't go around taking things for no reason--it's just one specific thing I take. I steal the ranch dressing at Cafe `84.
I kinda feel bad about it while I am doing it, but when I reason away the feelings, that guilt fades.
I really like the French fries at Cafe `84, and they are even better with ranch dressing. I used to always get some dressing, plop it down on my plate, not even thinking about it. I just figured that it was a condiment, just like if I were to add catsup.
One day, a Cafe `84 supervisor stood by me as I was about to ladle the dressing onto my plate. He corrected me, and he told me that I needed to use one of the little cups.
OK, I thought. It didn't make any difference to me. On the plate, in a cup--as long as it eventually was united with the fries, I was fine with its placement.
I was fine with it, that is, until I got to the register. Then I realized what happened. The cashier made me weigh my dressing, then charged me 55 cents for the little glob of dressing that I had scooped into the cup.
To say I was annoyed would be mild.
Fifty-five cents for a glob of ranch. What kind of dressing were they giving me? Was it some kind of gourmet, exotic stuff, where all of the ingredients are hand-picked and blended together? For some reason I highly doubt that.
The next time I went, I waited until no one was near the dressings to tell me to use the little cup, and then I quickly scooped the dressing onto my plate, knowing that it couldn't be weighed. I was figuring that I would get it for free just as I always had before.
Well, I was correct in my assessment that it could then not be weighed, but not in the assumption that it would be free--this time it cost me 85 cents. Apparently the cashier can eyeball its weight.
The last couple times I've purchased my BBQ chicken sandwich and fries I pick up the bun and put the dressing in its place like I always have, but instead of putting the bun on top of the sandwich like I used to, I kinda just put it back where it was in the first place. It just sorta happens to block the view of the dressing.
Is it my fault that the plates are too small for the dressing to be visible when the sandwich is arranged in the way it was given to me? I think not. And if I just forget to mention that it's there, is that really thievery?
It's not really too incredibly tangible, what I am taking. It's not like I'm stuffing things into my pockets and leaving the building. I'm just really poor, and I love my dressing too much to give it up. It is ridiculous that we are charged the outrageous prices that they assign to the stuff.
So I hide it. I am a horrible, horrible person ... but I still enjoy my lunch.