Film Review
'Anaconda' is so bad it's entertaining
By David FriedeStaff Writer
Naturally,
whenever you pay to see a movie, it's always nice to be able to see a good,
well-crafted film. However, this is rarely the case. So when it comes to
bad movies, there are basically two major categories. There are films that
are simply bad and horrible--these are the ones that cause you to leave the
theater feeling terribly cheated. However, there are also
those special films that are so bad that they are unintentionally
hilarious. That kind of bad movie is certainly the lesser of the two evils,
because you at least leave the theater knowing that you got your money's
worth of pure entertainment. Fortunately, the new epic "Anaconda" falls
neatly into the latter category.The film is a singular
experience--absolutely incompetent, totally ludicrous, terrible in every
respect, yet it is still the most entertaining thing to hit theaters in a
while. Of course, there is always an inherent dilemma when discussing films
so gleefully terrible as this; you could drive yourself mad trying to
figure out whether the film is terrible by accident, or whether it is
knowingly campy.To unravel this mystery
about "Anaconda," one must take a good look at the man behind the
mayhem--Peruvian director Luis Llosa.When examining Llosa's
track record, it becomes all too clear that this film's incompetence was
not intentional, as Llosa's past two films--"Sniper" and "The
Specialist"--rank among the most incompetent in recent history. Both of
these films are hilarious, but they don't work at all as movies. This is
because in tone, both films are serious and brooding, causing the technical
imperfections to clash strongly with the subject matter. On the other hand,
"Anaconda"--awful as it may be--does indeed work as a whole. This is due
solely to the fact that the film is high camp at its very core, and its
incompetence only helps to augment and improve this tone.Now, the question is
whether the film's effectiveness is merely a fluke or whether Llosa finally
realized that his limited talents are better suited to this arena. I figure
that it had to have been a happy accident, as the man is obviously
clueless. It is completely mind-boggling that in this day and age, film
producers are shelling out millions of dollars for screenplays as bad as
this, then deciding to put Luis Llosa at the helm. This is not entirely
bad, though, as it gives the film instant, unintentional humor.In fact, the only thing
funnier than Llosa's brain-dead direction is the noteworthy performance of
a certain Jon Voight. Watching him in this film, it is hard to imagine that
he has an Oscar under his belt and the reputation to match. Quite frankly,
this is an instantly-quotable performance without rival, and the film
should be seen, if nothing else, just to watch the man at work. Voight
walks through the entire film with a particularly goofy grimace plastered
on his face, spouting out horrible dialogue in an equally goofy Tony
Montana accent. Llosa uses Voight's grimace as a character unto itself,
frequently cutting back to it for no apparent reason.As for the other actors,
they are justifiably blown off the screen by Voight's antics. Jennifer
Lopez obviously gave her role her very best, but unfortunately, she
obviously didn't get the joke like everyone else. She acts her heart out in
the film, but I couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed for her, given
the context of her performance. Unfortunately, the
ever-great Ice Cube is woefully under-used, and Eric Stoltz sleeps through
his role--literally. But we can't forget the real star of "Anaconda"--the
snake.Basically, there are two
versions of the snake--a computer-generated one and an animatronic one.
What is truly amazing is that not only do the two versions of the snake not
match up at all on screen, but they are both truly terrible in their own
right. However, the fact that the effects are so horrible only makes the
film even funnier.Overall, films like
"Anaconda" are difficult for any reviewer, because there is the question of
whether you should grade it on quality or entertainment value. Well, this
film certainly delivers the goods and, based on various reports, audiences
around the country are getting the joke, which is only good news for the
film's word-of-mouth. So if you are a pretentious film student, avoid
"Anaconda" like the plague. However, if you have sense of humor and are
willing to accept a film for what it is, this one will not disappoint. And
remember--the next best thing to a good film is a funny one. B"Anaconda" is now playing nationwide.